7 posts from 2009

Originally published at Angels Dust. You can comment here or there.

It's 2AM! I have hair dye in my hair, I'm snacking on soybean cherry nut trail mix and listening to Lady GaGa...not being able to sleep. Since it's a Friday, I'm not beating myself up too much about not being able to sleep because I don't have to be at work in the morning.

So not a lot of you challenged me to try and go vegetarian for a week. Only one person did, and that was my "Filipino sister" Deanna. I did decide to try it and see if I could live without. It's not like my mind has been playing stress games with me a lot lately.

So to prepare for "the vegetarian challenge" I went to Target and bought vegetarian chicken nuggets and Boca meatless burger patty's. I'll probably start tomorrow...it's good timing since I bought my CLA (Conjugated Linoleic Acid) dietary supplement pills from GNC. I want to drop a few more pounds before my final two NKOTB concert excursions for the rest of the year.

While on my Target shopping excursion I found the soybean cherry nut trail mix I'm snacking on now and some rye and flax crackers (it's really not as bad as it sounds). I can tolerate eating it for the sake of my diet. I'm one of those people that can modify my tastes and eat something until it states to taste good.

I also couldn't deny getting myself a grande iced coffee with soy milk from the Starbucks that was calling my name from within the store. Soy milk counts in a vegetarian diet, I checked!

So from the time I got home from Target, until now, I've been searching online for new jobs. It's time to move on, I've repeated it a million times in my head. It's been almost two years and I guess all I'm good for is beating my fingerprints on a keyboard all day. Time to break out of the shell...

Originally published at Angels Dust. You can comment here or there.

I decided to start the 365 Project on Flickr. For those that don't know what it is, it's a project that entails you to take a photo of yourself everyday and submit it to the group. While I am not a very vain person, there were a few reason's I decided to get into it:

For one, I need the graphics practice for my upcoming college classes.

Two, I was considering taking a few photography classes and this might get me motivated. After all, my major is Web Design and if I have the ability to take my own photos for whatever websites I may do in he future, that saves me from Copyright. Also gives me more diverse skills and abilities that I know employers love.

Three, I need to keep busy so I don't go out and spend any more money, and especially this Summer, I need to keep busy so I will quit buying God-darned New Kids on the Block concert tickets.

Here's my 365 for today:

Cloud background image from: stephenbrooks.org

I attempted to blend a cloud background into a photo of me laying (and almost falling asleep) on the couch. I'm so tired but I loved the challenge of trying to cover that fact up. I've been having the worst time sleeping these past couple of weeks. I've been stressed and worried about everything in life. Am I going down the right path? What career will I be doing down the road? Is going back to college the right thing to do? Am I going to find a job once I graduate? Stress, stress, pull your hair out STRESS.

I've honestly been told by my Dad to go see a doctor because he thinks I have anxiety issues, (he has them really bad and he swears I got everything from him) but right now I refuse...there's just no time between work and school. Besides, I have faith I am a strong enough person to eventually get through it.

I had to drop my math class for the semester. I hate being a quitter but after missing a few classes it was just too hard to catch up. I will re-enroll in the class and get a tutor next semester. I will not give up.

So with that said, it took a lot of makeup to cover up the huge bags forming under my eyes and all the Sugar Free Red Bull and Starbucks in the world cannot make my life issues disappear, but it does keep me awake long enough to get some work done.

I still dream of becoming that successful woman one day and I will keep working at it...this is just a bump in the road.

Originally published at Angels Dust. You can comment here or there.

Facebook has not been working for me since last night. Twitter just crashed. I seriously have nothing to do in between the times that I get distracted and want to stop doing homework.

2/3 of my addictions just died on me. (The third...Sugar Free Red Bull, I can't have this late...or can I?)

So to find another excuse to not do homework I surfed around and just bought New Kids on the Block concert tickets to the Noblesville, Indiana concert from a broker. I've lost my ever-loving, God-forsaken mind. Is there therapy for this?

Buying the tickets were inevitable either way, Susie and I just upgraded to VIP 5 star passes last weekend and obviously can't use the upgrade unless we have concert tickets. But for the undisclosed amount I just paid for these is where the therapy should be considered...if I can even afford a therapist after buying those damned concert tickets.

Back to attempting to finish up this math homework that I've been trying to finish ALL DAY.

Originally published at Angels Dust. You can comment here or there.

Not much happening in the excitement department for me this weekend. I completely slacked off last weekend with my homework because I was on the NKOTB cruise, so this weekend is my makeup weekend. It's been a week since I got off that damn ship and I still feel myself swaying around. (To those that asked to tell about my cruise experience, hang tight, I'm still going to play story teller to that one this weekend.) Not only has it been a week since getting on the cruise that I spent 2 months worth of salary on, I impulsively bought meet and greets AGAIN. Please feel free to beat me with the "check your hormones here" stick at any time now...

I was highly considering checking out the Matt Nathanson (the guy that sings "Come On Get Higher", LOVE that song!) concert going on tonight in town, but if I fail out of school because I was a "drunken slacker" I'll be sitting in one of those Balikbayan boxes my mom packs and ships to my family in the Philippines...next to the cans of Spam none-the-less.

After catching up with my math homework, I think I might be a little stimulated by my Contemporary Marketing homework as I can inventing something cute and girly to present.

Originally published at Angels Dust. You can comment here or there.

I've been on a diet since last Thursday and it's going good so far. I think my main motivation for dieting is of course the cruise I'm going on next month. My source of motivation...diet pills. I decided to be safe this time and spent a pretty penny on the FDA approved diet pills, Alli. I like these pills a lot better than other ones I've tried before because these don't make me jittery and make my heart feel like it's going to beat out of my chest.

Additionally, I've been logging what I've been eating for a few days now. I use The Daily Plate website. (I created a public profile.) I have my weight loss goals set at 2 pounds a week and a calorie goal of 1,665 calories.

Here's an example of what I had for dinner this evening:

Vegy burger patty with sun dried tomato cheese wrapped in a tortilla. Cucumbers and carrots dipped in light ranch dressing. A pickle, and a Sobe pomegranate life water.

Alas, my dieting adventures would not be complete without a gym membership. I've had one for a few years and would casually go, then when I started college classes back up this year, my workout routine took a back seat. My Philippines trip that I just got back from put pushed my workout regimen further back. I did my first "official" workout session since starting my diet with my co-worker, Carla and I'm hurting. I plan on going to workout every other day at least. This Thursday I am going to try one of the gym's Yoga classes and see how it goes.

I've lost 10 pounds so far this year without hardcore dieting. I'm down to a 175 from 184 and I'm determined to keep going. I'm tired of going clothes shopping and dreaming of wearing the cute clothes that would only look nice on skinny people. I'm also tired of going shopping and having all the "big people" sizes gone first because they are the most popular.

My only downfall that will pull at my heart strings for the next month is that I've been majorly craving my favorite candy, Peanut M&M's, but I think I can live without them for a month. However once I get back on the plane to come home from my cruise, you best believe I'm having a serving in my hand getting off the plane.

Originally published at Angels Dust. You can comment here or there.

I was reading through my previous post and realized that I never explained why I went to the Philippines in the first place. The jet lag was probably eating me alive when I was typing. I honestly (and literally) spent 90% of my tax return for my plane ticket to go on a family emergency. My Tita Elsa was very sick. In fact, when I bought my plane ticket, I was told she had only a few days to live.

I just thank God that if I never see another miracle in my life again, I witnessed my aunt breathing again, which is a wonderful miracle.

If I never missed a day of work for one year, I probably still would not have enough paid time off to dance over to the Philippines for three weeks. Any time less would just be a waste of money. But here I was within a week of knowing I would be leaving the country, I was packing my bags to travel halfway across the world. This is the ultimate stress episode to me.

I wish I had a profession that let me travel more often to see them though. I dream of, every year, for at least a month, I can go to the Philippines and visit my family. Not worry about finances, wondering if I'm going to get paid or not, not worry about bills when I get back because I took so much time off I'm not getting paid. It's hard enough finding a profession that I can tolerate doing for a living. It's even more depressing to put that profession on the back burner for a few weeks and then having to come back to it and face reality that your working a job you don't want to be doing for the rest of your life.

Maybe one day...until then it's busting butt for the next four years in school to get that Bachelor's degree. Which reminds me, I have to study for a math test I missed while I was i the Philippines.

Originally published at Angels Dust. You can comment here or there.

It's always hard to attempt to recover from jet lag within a few days, but I have to do it, I go back to school and work Monday.

I arrived back in the United States from being in the Philippines for two and a half weeks last Thursday. The very next day, I had tickets and meet and greet passes to a New Kids on the Block concert, where I didn't attempt to recover from my jet lag and stayed up that night...all night. (I will talk about this later, this day is another story in itself.)

It is truly sad to leave my family in the Philippines. I got used to having family around all the time, to those who know me, you know I hate being alone. The company of having my family around was nice.

Not to mention, a trip to the other side of the world is not exactly cheap, so it's a trip I cannot take often. Since I was a kid, I've been going to the Philippines every 5 years or so. Well this time I waited almost 7 years, which is 7 years too long. Hopefully I will not make this mistake again. I plan to be very frugal with my vacation time at work so I can have the opportunity to fly back out there and see them again in another couple of years...not 7.

The flight back was rough. I flew from the Philippines to Guam within 5 hours and had a 7 hour layover in Guam, so I had a lot of time to do absolutely nothing. Then I flew from Guam to Tokyo, where I flew to Houston, Texas and waited another four hours, not to mention the amount of time it took me to get through customs. They shave you with a fine tooth comb, which I guess is a good thing.

Here it is Sunday morning, and I'm not tired and don't see myself sleeping anytime soon since I took a 6 hour nap. Seeing there is a 12 hour time difference between Ohio, USA and the Philippines, it might take me a good week to get adjusted. Let's just hope a gallon of Red Bull will keep me from falling asleep at work and during class this week.

I took almost 400 photos from my Philippines trip, but you can see them in my photo album.